I’ve smelt what The Rock has been cooking since the ‘90s.

While I was a fan of his antics during WWE’s Attitude Era, I began to grow out of him like I did jorts. Plus, I was always more of a Stone Cold Steve Austin fan. My interest in The Smashing Machine wasn’t because of Johnson, despite him getting some great reviews. I was more interested in the story of Mark Kerr and the early days of the UFC, considering I was also late to the party in becoming a fan of the sport.

I didn’t end up pausing The Smashing Machine once, but I also didn’t stay planted on the couch. I refreshed my drink, grabbed a few snacks and even scribbled down my notes. It wasn’t Johnson’s performance that put me off. It was the story. All I could think was that The Smashing Machine felt like an A24 cookie-cutter story.

Don’t get me wrong. I love some A24 films. Everything Everywhere All at Once blew my mind. Midsommar and Hereditary still haunt me. Uncut Gems was incredible, and Sandler was robbed.

Some haven’t been so great, though. I found Beau Is Afraid a bit bloated. The Iron Claw, which felt very similar to The Smashing Machine, was disappointing to me as a wrestling fan. I also really wanted to love Y2K, but it had a few problems besides the Fred Durst cameo.

Let’s get back to The Smashing Machine.

The film starts with Kerr fighting around the world as a professional before the UFC started up. I got a sense of who he was and what he had to do to become a recognisable figure in a sport that was practically non-existent. There was no Conor McGregor making headlines or Chael Sonnen spitting unforgettable promos. Kerr had to fight for every cent to put food on the table, which made me feel for him.

Part of that fighting for everything meant he used drugs to stay at the top of his game. That’s all I’m going to tell you. I think you can guess the rest.

I get that it’s hard for a biopic to put in twists and turns, and the filmmakers tried to build The Smashing Machine to a climax. In these films, they try to get you to buy into the characters. You want to feel their downfall and root for their road to redemption, but sadly, I didn’t care about either.

This lack of connection is why I didn’t mind walking away for a few moments and letting the movie run on. It didn’t feel like I missed anything. There are plenty of times where I’ve rewound shows and movies because I knew something important just happened. In The Smashing Machine, I felt like I knew what was going to happen, and for the most part, I was right.

I don’t think it was the performances. Emily Blunt was great and played a role I hadn’t seen her take on before. Her character isn’t perfect, but you feel like she’s walking on eggshells around Kerr. As I said, Johnson did a good job. Although, when he shaved his head, it did take me back to his WWE days as The Final Boss and pulled me out of believing he was Kerr.

Would I recommend it? I think you need an interest in the UFC to enjoy The Smashing Machine, but I would recommend watching the documentary of the same name first. That’s what I plan to do at some point. For everyone else, while the acting is fine, the story and emotional beats are predictable, and I think other movies do this type of story better. 

As for fans of The Rock, I’d say jump on YouTube and revisit the My Way WrestleMania XV promo instead. 

Damn, now that’s two Fred Durst references in one email. Please don’t unsubscribe.

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